photo credit Unsplash
Once I realized that I was a witch, a kitchen witch to be exact, I have been desiring a relationship with a matron goddess. I am still a bit unsure about a patron god but I understand why that is; the separation of church and spirit, I experienced as a spiritually hungry child and adolescent.
So once I was introduced to the goddess, I went about rushing the relationship of that sister/mother guide, but now of course after having practiced Paganism and witchcraft seriously for about a year, I know that the rush is not necessary and neither is the matron or patron. Though I get this, I still crave the relationship and for good reason.
Sacred relationships are highly important to me. I had a sacred relationship with my mother, so I know what it feels like to be inspired, to feel safe, to be charged by my experience with someone. My relationship with my soul sister Andie is sacred. I don’t like to waste time with relationships that don’t have a sacred quality to them. I don’t want to impress this truth on others because I realize and respect that some people just like people in general and that is fine because it is who they are,but it’s not who I am, or ever was.
And so I carry this craving for communication with a special goddess and I have courted a few since I have known who I am on a spiritual level. There was a date with Baba Yaga that was pretty darn interesting. I loved her way of hiding away in the forest and owning her seclusion. With Baba it was a cool ride and I still love and respect her today…but Baba wasn’t THE one. However, she did show me that I was naturally drawn to the wild woman; the woman not afraid to get her feet dirty.
After Baba Yaga, I found myself on a date with Lilith, you know, Adam’s first wife, the one who got pissed off because she wasn’t trying to be in the missionary position all her life. Adam thought she was crazy (sound familiar?) so Lilith left. Her story has so many versions. In one, she is a demon that impregnates herself by transforming into a demon lover to make demon babies with all the men she hates. How could you resist her? Well, so far I have not. Her number is still on my Droid contact list.
Being African-American, I made dates with a few African Egyptian goddesses, but it just didn’t work. I don’t have an explanation for this, I just know what I want and an Egyptian or Yoruban goddess just isn’t it. So now I am a free agent, flirting with goddesses here and there and waiting for the right one to come along. But I know that having a matron or patron is not a necessity. And I want you to understand that, because I know that I am not the only one courting the goddesses and feeling a bit rejected as if I’m not anyone’s type. The deeper ME knows that I can have a perfectly fulfilling practice working with the energy of the divine feminine and divine masculine without calling upon a particular name or energy.
But though I know this, I’m still desiring the relationship. Can someone give me a call? Lilith…someone.
Signed, goddess-less witch.