Getting From Here to There

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Over the last couple of decades, there has been an onslaught of books, mentors, and spiritual life coaches who have promised so many of us true secrets and methods that will help us to miraculously change our lives. Having read many of these teachers and authors myself, I can say that I have learned some valuable lessons and gathered some pretty hefty tools to get me through the tough times. I can also honestly say that sometimes I wasn’t utilizing these personal empowerment tools to the best of my ability, and other times I simply did not have a deep enough understanding of what the hell I was really doing.

So after that intro, I am sure you are wondering what we have to share that is going to be less confusing and convoluted, to assist you in getting from that barren place in your life to the “somewhere” you’ve been dreaming of.

Let’s Begin with This…

Making mistakes in life is a most precious thing. Without the experience of mistakes, misjudgment, a sprinkle of confusion, and a couple spoonfuls of doubt; nothing can be fully learned and reinforced in your life. Those wrong turns in the road aren’t really wrong, they are simply unintentional detours and can offer us some real treasures for the present moment and the imagined future.

-So, first things first. Stop beating up on yourself for making decisions that didn’t turn out the way you expected.

-Let go of the self-punishment you’ve been distributing to your psyche over those so-called wrong turns.

-Forgive yourself for all the self-judgement and lay the gavel to the side. Give yourself the keys to freedom by knowing that it doesn’t matter how long your neighbor meditates or repeats her mantras, she too is not perfect. And if she is, what a boring way to live.

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Once we allow ourselves the freedom to be, to take some nutty chances, to walk the unfamiliar road, we then get that the idea is not about making a flawless plan, or walking without stumbling. The idea is mostly about what we get OUT of that sad-ass job, or the rocky relationship, or the dream or goal that appeared to escape us.

What exactly did we learn from the not-so-cool times?

Yes, we CAN learn through joy as well as pain, but unfortunately, it seems much more difficult. Because when the ball is in our court and we are heading for that jump shot, we tend to release our “being” in the very present moment and we are already at the Olympics with the gold medal before our Nikes hit the floor.

During difficult and challenging times, we are often forced to be there, stay there, and smell the stink. Often our resources are depleted and we cannot escape to the Bahamas for endless rounds of rum punch. We have to be deep in it, like muddy quicksand. And it sucks. (pun totally intended)

And it seems the only light in the Universe is the one we are holding to find our way out.

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-Just know that the situation is muddy, but you are not sinking. As my best friend and biz partner, Andie Levine, always says, “nothing ever stays the same. Things always change.” And you can count on that! So hold on to that truth because it is universal, straight from the Cosmos!

-The first thing that needs changing and is often the first to change, is your very own perspective of where you are and why. So focus on a change of perspective, consciously. Don’t make the Universe force you into it. Because it will, and it usually isn’t pretty.

-Refocus on your dreams and don’t be afraid to let some of them go and maybe even transform some others into something beautiful and new. And don’t allow anyone to tell you that you can’t change your mind! You can, as often as you feel it is necessary.

-Get happy about the small, fun things that do already exist in your life. If Friday night pizza and a good IPA brew makes you happy, then go ahead and enjoy. The iWonder Sisters would never advocate addiction, but we do advocate the letting down of your hair and the letting go of your angst.

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So, to sum up it all up…How do you get from here to there?

-Be kind to yourself. Throw all your guilt about making mistakes and wrong turns out the nearest window. Forgive yourself for hurting yourself and punishing yourself.

-And get as comfy as you can in that sticky, muddy place. It will not always be there. At some point you will be looking back at that challenging part of life and remembering how it extended your capacity for gratitude.

-Use that sticky, muddy, yucky time when it seems you’re going nowhere to refocus on your goals, loves, passions, and dreams, and determine if they are still the same, or if it is time to change them, because YOU have changed.

-If you feel a change of heart and mind, you are the only one that can grant yourself the permission to do so.

And then find a million tiny ways to make yourself smile, and burst into a belly laugh once in a while. You will find the doors of possibility opening up to take part in your joy.

 

 

 

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