This is an iWonder Sisters Crystal Wind Edition that will occur twice weekly, and will include personal growth exercises and feedback from us. Enjoy, and check out the awesome magickal, spiritual items and resources that CrystalWind.ca has to offer!)
New Age wisdom – and its gurus – tell us that to reach higher states of consciousness and the ultimate Unity of all things, one must vibrate at a higher frequency, be positive and uplifted, feel Love all the time. For me the problem with this thinking is that we are souls in human bodies, and therefore are going to be subject to all the feelings that come with them. New Agers often make the mistake of calling emotions “positive” or “negative” when in fact they are neither. Emotions just are. They are the ways our personalities – our egos – respond to the world around us. They are messages from within, asking us to pay attention to something.
Emotions such as Joy, Happiness, Love, are considered the “good emotions” ones that get you vibrating at a higher frequency, and emotions like anger, sorrow, sadness, boredom, rage are considered the “bad emotions” , ones that keep you at a lower frequency. But if we are to accept the totality of who we are – something else that the New Age espouses – we must accept all the ways we feel and embrace all of our emotions.
None of us wants to feel crappy. But sometimes Life throws something at us that might cause grief or anger, and these feelings must be felt fully, given some kind of expression, and worked through. This happens for each of us in our own time and at our own pace. Denial of a challenging feeling can cause dis-ease, and many illnesses, both physical and emotional/mental. Stuff an emotion down, down, down, and it is sure to emerge in another form. Emotional pain will become another kind of pain. It is a truism. None of us is immune. And we cannot let the challenging emotion go until we have allowed ourselves to experience it.
On a personal note: My mother treated me with great cruelty when I was young and growing up. All I felt was completely unloved. There was no validation, no nurturing, nothing but what felt to me like her hate. It wasn’t until I was much older and in therapy that a friend suggested my mother was jealous of me and had created, in her mind, this competition between us. I was very surprised by this new revelation, but the more I thought about it the more sense it made. I looked like my mother, but I was prettier, more talented, and most importantly, had more opportunity. My mother’s childhood was nothing short of a train wreck and it made mine look like something out of “Leave it to Beaver”. As a result, I made excuses for her treatment of me and emotionally felt nothing but hurt. But I also felt no love towards her. It wasn’t until I was in my 50’s that I finally got angry, and it was even later – and long after my mother had passed – that I worked through that anger and both forgave and loved her. And was able to see how she loved me. My mother was probably the saddest person I have ever known, damaged and needy, but she did love me in a weird way. And coming to that awareness, I was able to release my anger and love her back. It was one of the most liberating days of my life.
I tell this story to illustrate that it wasn’t until I embraced my anger and gave it some expression – I wrote my mother a long letter that I burned – was I able to move forward. And the unpleasant and challenging anger, did not overwhelm me or swallow me whole as I feared. I felt it and it passed when I was ready to let it go.
Experiencing our emotions – all of them – enriches our humanity. To love and accept who you are means living in the fullness of the human experience. Deny your emotions and you deny a big part of who you are. And after all, it is self awareness that is the goal here. The greater our self awareness the more authentic we are. And if it is true that “negative emotions” keep us vibrating at a lower frequency, so be it. Feel your feelings as they come. Embrace what is and be in the moment. I promise that you will come out the other side. Remember that change is inevitable – nothing stays the same forever.
Within this week, we want to share with you some real and tangible ways you can embrace all of your feelings and begin to see them as neutral, but significant parts of your existence.
Now Time for a bit of un-learning from the un-teachers
- When you awaken in the morning, stop for just a few seconds to get used to becoming aware of how you really feel. The ultimate time for this exercise is when no one is around; no partner, spouse, children, or roommates. This will give you time to be honest with yourself, happy, sad, angry, or ecstatic, before you put that face on for the world.
- In whatever way is most natural for you. log those feelings. so you can determine for yourself, if there is any trend you should be taking note of: for example, many consecutive days of depression or sadness, or loneliness, or even hyperactivity. You will begin to be informed about your feelings and emotions as you’ve never been before. And as Andie stated above, awareness is everything.
- After about a week of paying attention to how you really feel, you will then be able to uncover any feelings that need to be tended to. I say “tended to”, very purposefully, before “dealing with” is too harsh a term and unnecessary. We deal with unruly weeds in our gardens, or bosses we dislike. We tend to those things and people we care about.
In this week, you can also begin to shift your language when it comes to speaking about your emotions to yourself. You can begin to remove the labels, such as “positive”, or “negative”, and just leave them as they are.
This is the beginning of letting go of some old paradigm or even a new paradigm that asks you to be something other than you are, which is human on planet earth.
Please email us at firstname.lastname@example.org or hit us up on Facebook at The I-Wonder Sisters Tribe page to share your thoughts, ask questions, or just say hello.
Andie and Kim