I have known I am a healer since I was a girl. I could feel it in my hands, the heat and tingling of healing energy. It was like sparks running through my body. If anything, the feeling has gotten more intense as I have gotten older. It is a feeling that fills me with purpose and calls me for its use.
Last night and today, my Kimm, BFF and the other half of the iWonderSisters, was quite ill with a stomach virus. She spent most of the night in the bathroom, and the rest of the time awake in bed. Once, during the night, when I heard her, I got up and went to her bedside and stroked her head and back. I did it very naturally, without thinking. And I did it again this morning. It was something very simple. I thought nothing of it.
Later in the day, when she was feeling a bit better and sipping on Gatorade, Kimm told me that when I touched her she felt something “lift” inside her. It felt good. I confess I was a bit surprised by her telling me this, as I rarely think about this gift of mine and sometimes even think this conduit (that I have always been) has closed. But hearing her say she felt something when I touched her and that it made her feel better filled me with joy. Not only was I able to help Kimm, but my own awareness of what happens when I touch people was made crystal clear. It was a small but powerful validation of what I have always felt.
I take this work seriously as one should, but perhaps need to lighten up a bit and accept that healing happens when the “client” is ready, and that I am merely a facilitator. Kimm healed herself and all I did was help the healing flow. Yes, I have a gift, but it is no more or less than the ability to allow healing energy to flow through me to another person. I don’t do anything. The energy does it all. I am a vessel and conduit. My job is to stay open to the energy. However, this time in particular, I was not trying to open myself. I just was open. And while I like to keep my ego out of this work, Kimm telling me how she felt when I touched her, made me feel great! I am still human after all.
It also highlighted the fact that this gift needs to be used. My job now, is to invite others to use it – to use me. That will fulfill my need as well. My need to feel useful. I am so happy that Kimm is feeling better and joy-filled that I may have played a small part in helping her. I am a healer and I can no longer let this lie dormant.
I just helped Kimm feed 30 horses! I don’t know how she did it on no food and no sleep. As for me, I am pooped! And I don’t know how to end this. My question to the Universe would be: Was I still a healer while I was throwing hay? (LOL) The answer is ‘Yes’ of course. That part of me doesn’t come and go. I am always the totality of me, and that includes being an energy conduit.
No matter what we do or say, we are all always the totality of ourselves whether or not we are aware of it. Like they say, “You can run but you cannot hide.” I think I may have been running for a long time. Buying a massage table 2 years ago was the beginning of my acceptance of my purpose. I am grateful to be a healer. Yay!
Andie the Faerie