Some of you are too young to remember the lyrics I used in my title, but these catchy lyrics were born out of a very popular song in 1978, from the living legend rocker, Rod Stewart. My mother loved that song and so did many many women, and men, who made it an unforgettable hit.
The lyrics, “if ya want my body, and ya think I’m sexy, come on baby let me know” comes to my mind today because I often think about the conditioning of the minds of women. Media, maybe even your own mothers, would have you believe that your feelings of sexiness and desirableness come from the admiration of others. In plain words, just as we ask the question, “when a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to hear it, does it still make a sound?” If there is no lover in my world telling me how desirable I am, am I still sexy”? To that I say, hell yeah!
Like most of the ideas we have accepted as truths, this is another idea that does not serve us as women, and the iWonder Sisters asks that you to unlearn it. Your sexiness, vivaciousness, inner and outer beauty, have nothing to do with anyone’s opinions or “feelings” about you. Actually, it works the other way around. I have known sexy women who would not by most standards, fall under the category of “pretty” that men couldn’t stay away from, and that women admired. Why? Because they moved through the world in a way that let you know that they embodied their own sexiness, that they were the only judges of their beauty.
Being of African-American/Caribbean heritage, I was infused at a young age with the idea of hips and thighs being considered sexy. The more “meat” you had on them, the better. I didn’t grow up with Barbie as my model, because she didn’t look like me in the first place, so I didn’t expect to look like her. In a way I think women of other races have a helluva lot more to shake off and unlearn, when it comes to feeling sexy, naturally. But you can un-learn, with patience and effort, this idea that you are not sexy unless loads of men are turning their heads your way when you walk down the street. You can watch what you are constantly feeding your mind, and begin to take on a new mental diet.
Too often, we think that “sexy” is only about what we feed our bodies, how fit they are, how tight our muscles are, how thin our waistlines are, and how much we weigh when placed on a scale like a piece of meat; instead of concerning ourselves with our mental diet, the constant crap we feed ourselves about what beauty is or isn’t”. A couple of decades ago, Kim Kardashian would have been considered a candidate for a weight loss program, now women are doing exercises, getting butt lifts, booty shapers, and even plastic surgery, to gain the coveted “badonkadonk”. In my neighborhood, the “badonkadonk” was always coveted.
Centuries ago, artists drooled over painting voluptuous thighs, and poets said things like, “her bulbous stomach”. So why not stop allowing your “sexy” to depend upon trends, and know it within yourselves? And ladies, I am telling you that this is worth faking it, til you make it your truth. Because it is the truth. You are the only judge of your “sexy” and I say, give yourselves a 10!.
And as for the video below…I couldn’t help myself….enjoy, all my booty sisters!
Sir Mix-a-lot, I Like Big Butts