Conversations With The iWonder Sisters – On Toxic Relationships

Last night our topic was toxic relationships and how best to deal with them. We talked a lot about the fact that it takes two people to make a relationship, and that we must always separate what part of it belongs to us and what part is the other person’s. Owning your own stuff and being self-aware is imperative, as well as knowing what aspect of your life and you is being reflected back to you by the other person. It is always best to step back from a relationship that no longer serves you, and to step away completely if that is possible. Loving yourself enough to know that you deserve better is so important. Many people stay in these relationships because they have become comfortable and familiar – even if painful – , and in these cases, you must look to your courage, and need for self-preservation, to help you makes better choices for yourself. Andie gave a very good example of a relationship that she left recently, that could have destroyed her life if she had stayed. In this instance the relationship mirrored Andie’s relationship with her mother, and as soon as she became aware of this, Andie was able to work through the issues surrounding her mom and step away from the relationship. Toxic relationships are there to teach us something about ourselves, and appointing blame is not helpful. But once you have learned the lesson and worked out your participation in the relationship, you have a choice to make about whether or not it should continue and what is best for you. And understanding that you always have choices, and what those choices are for you, will help you resolve the situation.

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